Christmas

Sitting at the hawker centre with you, her and I. There we were, so much to share, so much to talk and gossip about. We got so carried away with our conversations that we did not realised that it had taken up 3 solid hours of our time. From a hawker centre full of customers into one with one or two tables of customers left, it was how we spent our Christmas eve that year. Filling it with nothing but tonnes and tonnes of talks and laughter.

On the way back, we stopped by the bank for she wanted to withdraw some money. There I was, accompanying her, adding in funny and ridiculous phrases after every sentence she sang, laughing with each other about it. It felt like a silent night alright. A night filled with warmth and smiles.

“Oh look! It’s Christmas already!” I said excitedly, pointing towards the digital clock in your car. “Merry Christmas, people!!!” I shouted out with joy to you and her. You both did the same as well. “This is one Christmas which I won’t forget, one which we filled it with our gossips and talks!!!” I laughed. The three of us continue talking while you fetched us back.

“You might have something new to look forward to soon, girl” she teased me when we were getting ready for bed. I blushed and denied saying that it was impossible when deep down, I knew I was swept off my feet by you. So there I was, talking about this so-called possibility with her back then. She was dropping some hints but I was too scared to analyse them. I was having cold feet!

Nevertheless, it was one Christmas which I would not forget. At the very least, not now, not so soon, for I know, those memories I had with you are irreplaceable and unforgettable. It was also because of her helping hand that we became what we wanted that time. ♥

Sudden Inspiration

Nothing is constant.

Nothing last forever.

Forever is just a myth.

It’s sad to see people walking their separate ways after a sweet chapter where they were once together. Things never come easy. Things will never be. For there are obstacles that test the strength of your determination and his/hers.

Each separation comes with a reason. Lame or reasonable, its not our decision. They chose the path they think its right so we as friends by their side should respect that. Even though deep down inside, we knows its was not what they had in mind. Still, decisions are made, tears are shed, hearts are broken. Nothing can be done to rewind what had happened. 

There is a saying “If you love something, set it free. For if it comes back, it will always be yours” but there is also some believes that who ever was in their past shall remain as past for a new life with them again will not have a happy ending. So, which is which?

A couple that had been together for a very long time had broken up and moved on. They still keep in touch and everyone around them can see that they still love each other except for they themselves. So does this means that old lovers will have a chance to have a new life together again? Or it’s just a myth and that it will never happen in reality?

Some never know how to treasure until they had lost what they value most. Some learnt a lesson the hard way. Some made illogical decisions for they had been blurred by loneliness and emptiness. Those who had lost what they once valued will always envy those who still had theirs. Those who still had theirs normally will not realise how lucky they are to still have what they treasured.

Especially when problems are faced and tensions created, giving up was their whisperer. It’s like the snake persuading Eve to taste the apple. An easy path to escape problems. It was until the whisperer had won that they only realise it was too late to turn back. For hearts had already broken and hopes were gone. Nothing can be said to undo the wrong. 

I once had what I treasured most but I took the easy path and learnt the lesson hard.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I’ll never regret

to have known you.

The past is now a memory of you and me,

tears were shed and hearts were broken,

we had lost what we once had in common,

if given a chance to rewind back again,

I’ll make sure our relationship maintain,

For I know that that is what I really want.

Reminisence

The rain was falling like cats and dogs accompanied by occasional thunder and lightning. The clouds were grey while strong wind made noises through the space between the windows that were left ajar. I stopped what I was doing and looked out of the window. Luckily my windows were tightly shut else the wind would have frightened me with the sound of its eerie whistling. The tiny water droplets slowly flow down the window pane. It gets bigger in size as it combined with other droplets which then increased its speed and disappear from the window leaving only its tracks. I rested on my hand as I enjoyed the view of Mother’s Nature. The weather being so chilly and cool can really make a person to be in the mood for a nap.

As I got up from my chair, something on my shelf fell onto the table. There it was, glittering upon the reflection of the sky, lying innocently. A simple yet special bracelet which had kept so much of those memories that I had forgotten. I picked it up and smiled. It has been three years since it happened but as the memories began to come back, it felt like it just happened yesterday. Everything from before it started until how it ended was now clearly in my head. I sat on the bed and allowed myself to reminisce.

“How do I have a long lasting marriage, Wise One? How do I know if he is the one for me?” the lady asked the Guru. “Easy. You marry your best friend.” He smiled.

I remembered that short paragraph. That was how everything began. He was one of my close friends where we shared almost everything under the Sun. He understood me from head to toe and never failed to do the right thing at the right time. Every single day with him was all smiles and laughter. Even before we were together, every time when we hanged out, he always managed to make me smile and brightened up my day. It did not occur to me that my feelings for him were more than friends until later. I would never forget how he surprised me with my birthday present. That day he made me smile so much that I was blushing all the way home. The time at the botanical garden where he accidentally said the wrong thing which had me burst out laughing and also the day where he personally cooked up a meal for my mum and us.

Unfortunately, life was never like a bed of roses where everything was smooth sailing every time. Things got complicated due to studies and gossips. With all the heavy workload, he felt stressed and pressured thus affecting him emotionally and changed his way of thinking and his way of doing things. Fight was very often that time, so often that we were seldom in talking terms. Things did not get better as I was naïve and found it hard to have the strength to continue on. In the end, I asked for a break up. It was a reluctant decision but it would be better this way then to see him suffered for something he was not used to doing. I cried and the heartache last for as long as I can remember. We were right for each other but we got together at the wrong place wrong time.

I did move on but there was no one who was anything like him. Not even a bit. Although their qualifications were better than him, nothing can compare to the way he treasured me. During the times when I was with him, I had learned so much about things that cannot be learned from books. I became more mature and stronger than before. So I hoped that next time, if destiny would allow, we would meet again but this time, it would be at the right place, right time.

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours.

Stand by you

Tears streaming down from her eyes onto my shirt as I pat her silently. The only sound heard was from her as she sobbed. No words were said as I knew nothing I said now will make her felt any better. The best way I could help was to lend her my shoulder, be her silent supporter. Words were never the best way to comfort a person. At least, not a person whom you had known for years, so long that every move of hers was predictable for you. My left shoulder felt heavy and wet but I just ignore the pain knowing that what I felt now was nothing as compare to what she was going through. The thought of it made my heart ached as I could not bare to see her suffer like this.

I remembered saving her from a gang of bullies when we were only seven years old. That was when we began to know each other. Those tearful hazel brown eyes of hers looking at me after I saved her. We became closer and closer since that day and I also promised myself to be her protector. We shared almost everything, from books to secrets. At those times, I felt so happy being able to spend so much time with her. As we grew older, she got prettier. Her admirers were countless thus she could get things done her way anytime anywhere. Things were much different back then. As she got more attention, I was pushed out from her life bit by bit but that did not stop me from protecting her from far. My heart ached every time she gets closed to a guy. At that time, I began to realise that I, like the other guys, had fallen for her but I kept those feelings from her knowing that I was no match to some admirers of hers. We still kept in touch but were no longer as close as before. It continue to be like this until we entered college.

I was really happy and glad to be able to be by her side again. Since we were in the same course, I was hoping to be in the same class with her but sadly, fate decided to play a trick on me. However, we got closer again. It felt like going back to the past before she got a string of admirers behind her back. I was really glad to have her all by myself. I even planned to confess to her on the 15th of June, the day where I was her knight in shining armour. Unfortunately, like every chinese drama, nothing runs smoothly. She got into a relationship before I could even say anything. So there I was, still protecting her in silence from far again. I did not mind the distance as long as she was happy. Although my heart ached every time I saw them together, I held back my pain until now.

"Shinichi..."her soft voice brought me back to reality. She was no longer crying but her eyes were red and puffy. I looked at her and before I realised what I was doing, I lifted up her chin slightly and kiss her softly. She was caught by surprised but gave a slight smile. I felt myself blushing the moment I saw her sweet smile. "Sorry... I... I was not being myself"I murmured.

"How long are you going to make me wait?!" Saiyuri pushed me away and stood up. I was shocked and speechless.

"Did you have fun watching me going through all these emotional pain? Have you ever thought of making a move? Seriously, Shinichi, I have waited so long for you and now you are telling me you're sorry?!" she was mad and hurt at the same time. I did not know how to respond as I did not expect this to happen at all.

"I guess I was being vain and made the wrong assumption. I guess I misinterpret your actions, the way you treated me. My bad! Forget what I said! I am just a girl who assumes too much that I take everything for granted!" She turned and walked away.

"Saiyuri, wait!" I caught up with her and held her arm.

"What?!"She turned and was pulled into my arms before she could utter another word.

"I... I didn't know... I... I'm sorry... I'm sorry for letting you wait so long... I... I just wanted what is best for you... I just felt that I am not good enough for you as compare to those you've dated... I... I'm sorry, Saiyuri... You have no idea how much it hurts to see you being with another guy... I did plan to confess but... I was waiting for the right time... I'm sorry, Saiyuri... I was a fool..." I hugged her tightly. She did not say anything. Nervous, I held her shoulders and looked at her. She was trying to stay mad while fighting back the urge to smile. I laughed and took out a small gift box from my pocket. She looked at it curiously like a child as I opened it up.

There it was, a four leave clover pendant, the one which she wanted since we saw it at a shop years ago.

"This... " she gasped as she touched the pendant slowly, unable to believe what she was looking at. I smiled and wore it around her neck.

"I tried looking for a real four leave clover but I guess, I was not lucky enough so I bought this one instead. I'm sorry... I hope you don't mind but... be mine?" I looked into those hazel brown eyes of hers.

"You have no idea how long have I waited this moment, Shinichi" she smiled. The exact smile she gave me when I first saved her from the bullies. The smile which was filled with contentment, security and warmth. "I take that as a yes then" I grinned and hugged her tightly. I love you, Saiyuri. No matter what happens from now, I will never let you go. I will always stand by you. Never let you go ever again. Not now. Not ever. Fin