Numb

Loneliness. Emptiness. They seem to come in a package when you go for the singles route. Freedom. Carefree. They too, are in that package as well. Good thing about being single is that you do not need to care for a certain someone 24/7 neither do you need to report to that person about everything that you do. You do not have to compromise and tolerate with anything that you dislike. The freedom is yours to mix with whoever and whenever you want. It does sound as interesting as it looks but nothing is perfect and there is a price for everything.

This single package, however, does not come with love, warmth, care and a supportive shoulder from a special someone. Not to say that it cannot be obtained from other packages like friends and family but this is different. Well, maybe some may think that they are replaceable with the friends or family package but what if, they are all too busy with their lives to provide you with what you want? At that time, where can you turn to?

I am not saying that the package of love can be taken for granted nor it is only useful when you are stuck in some loneliness crap. I am saying that having someone whom you love by your side can be very comforting even though sometimes you may feel like you have lost your freedom. Nevertheless, everyone has their own way of seeing things. Some might agree, some might not.

Sometimes, loneliness can make you feel like it has been years since you last felt love when it was only several months, less than six months to be precise.

When you took the singles package, you will somehow sometimes regret for not taking the relationship package and when you finally go for the relationship package, you will hope to stay single instead. Funny how things go, isn’t it? Like I’ve said before, not everyone will think this way. Some may have a different point of view, different weakness to handle and different focus in life.

I have my fair share of heartache and joy which made me who I am, in a way. I am currently opting for the singles package and will continue to do so for as long as I have promised myself. I know what the package includes and excludes but I am willing to face the excludes despite how hard it may be. There are much more important things for me to focus on for now and changing my current package is not one of them. So, what’s your choice? What are you primary focus and which package will you pick?    

I no longer know that feeling anymore. It died on the day “we” died.